mood: tired

Man, what a first week of August...it's just so Augusty...I don't know, this is one of the rare times I want to write an entry, yet have very little going on...this might evolve into one of those Top 10 Songs or movie list...which wouldn't be so bad...The song list is the hardest thing to pin down...the one I did in April...it's pretty different than the one now...Oh, and this one IS NOT linked to women in my life...ok, it kind of is...but not as much as the last one...owning an Ipod, it shows you how you listen to your music...when I left for Whislter, Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated" had a 23 play count and was at the top of the list...when I come back, Blue Rodeo's "5 Days in May" is at 43 and is number one, with "Vindicated bringing up the rear with about 36...I knew I listened to that song alot...but damn..."5 Days in May" is a classic ballad song, it leads with:
They met in a hurricane
Standing in the shelter, out of the rain
She pressed a note into his hand
Later on, they took her car, drove on down where the beaches are
He wrote her name in sand
never even let go of her hand
think about it, that is a great scene. Liner notes said that Jim Cuddy, the lead singer, saw a friend of his write his wife's name in the sand in a volcanic beach in New Zealand. Jim found it an incrediblity romantic gesture and he took that and wrote it into a song about how he met his wife. This song also is about when you meet a person, it seems like you've know each other forever. It's a great story! even the chorus
sometimes the world begins to set you up on your feet again
It wipes the tears from your eyes
How will you ever know, the way that circumstances go
It's gonna hit  you by surprize
and I know my past, you were there, in everything I've done
You are the one
When I was out in Whilster, I was at Lost Lake for a run and I decided to write Jenny's name in the sand...well, I had no idea that it wasn't actually sand...more like a fine gravel...didn't work out too well..and I sure as hell didn't want to take a picture of it..eww...still a good song...Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved" is my favourite song from them (followed by "Woman" and "Rag Doll") This was the song that I drew a storyboard for the video. I pictured something dark, raining and emotional. Well, the real video debuted a few weeks ago...it's set in a mediterrian-like Villa...with no rain...I find that disapointing. For a song where the chourus is I don't mind spending everyday, out in your corner in the pouring rain? Does that sound like it should have rain in it? I'm not complaining, it's a good video, done with classic Maroon 5 raciness...from what I can gather from it. The Band is staying at this man's Villa...The lead singer has his "girlfriend" with him. The owner of the villa beats his wife. The lead singer finds the wife in a heap at the bottom of the stairs one day and he goes to help her. She starts making out with him. Then this weird stalking like thing starts, with the wife stalking the lead singer, the singer stalking the wife while she takes his girlfriend out shopping...anyway, it goes like that with the mandatory band preformance shots (don't ask me how he dances with his girlfriend, yet still is able to preform...) from that, it's pretty much the same, until one day the wife gets pissed, slaps the owners paper and runs off...the lead runs after her and tries to get her straight, the girlfriend follows suit and then they cut to a flashback where the leand and the wife makeout, with the girlfriend then walking it...personally...I don't get the ending...but it's still a good video and a good song...
I've always been a fan of the Marvel Movie Soundtracks...The first Spiderman one was great, as was Daredevil (movie was crap, only good things were Farrel and Garner) The Punisher was ok..I only bought it for Amy Lee's Broken anyway...They recycled a few songs for that one...Oddly enough, they were both used in the WWF (I can't call it the WWE, it's werid) One was Kane's Theme and the other was used for Backlash or some other Pay-per View...I don't watch wrestling anymore...it's getting weird...they should have never spilt up the WWF and nor should they have given Kane more mic time...give me a break...Lita's having his baby?! but I digress...the second I found out both Dashboard Confessional AND Maroon 5 put NEW stuff on the Spiderman II soundtrack, I went out and got it...and damn..."Vindicated" is the Dashboard Confessional song...the lead singer of Dashboard has a very unique voice...like he's crying all the time..and I like that...the lyrics are also superb...
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so wellI am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

The lyrics almost capture the Spiderman guilt which is really nice, because that what makes Spiderman such a hero, he's so filled with guilt...and he's just a normal guy, with not so normal powers...All the Dashboard songs are done in the same way...Places You Have Come to Fear The Most, A Plain Morning, Remember to Breathe....rocking background, deep lyrics, finished off with emotional vocals...solid band...
So, I have all these Marvel Movie Soundtracks...most people think they are huge marketing thing just to get people spend more money...true...at least you get some decent music for your buck. Bleu's "Somebody Else" became my grade 10 anthem...I mean the first verse was:
What if I was alright?
What if I wasn't would so tight?
What if I had the balls to be bad?
Would you still look at me like that?
That pretty much summed up how I was feeling at the time...it was my messanger name for the better part of a month..don't ask me how I got all of that in...But it's off the first Spiderman soundtrack...submitting just in case...right now...
anyway...this is one of those song that seems to capture the moment you were in...to me, this song IS grade 10...and it allows me to remember those hard times I went though. Now I look back and see those made me the person I am today.
I am a Big BNL fan. I saw them when they came to Vancouver a while back, I bought their new albums first day it was out (come on, buying albums these days shows great support for a group) so my favourite BNL song was a hard one to pick...but I knew it would come down to a three way fight between "When I Fall" "Brian Wilson" and "Break Your Heart"
I thought about "Good Boy", but that's another Grade 10 song and I don't want too many memories of that year...I first heard Break your Heart when they preformed at the 2002 winter olympics...I found out the CD and got it soon after (I was a CD freak before I had a good computer...) When I Fall was on the same CD...both of these are slow, songs (which I liked) done by the two lead singers...Break Your Heart was done by Page, while If I Fall was Robertson. It's kind of like a Mcartny/Lennon thing..you could always tell a Lennon song from a Mcartny song...Ed and Steve are the same...both are great singers...Steve did Brian Wilson as well....I always liked Brian Wilson because it was a very wordy song...which is tough to pull off and make it sound good...(most BNL songs are wordy)...When I Fall is a complicated song to understand (something about a window cleaner...) but it's good...so the winner is "Break Your Heart"  I mean, Steve SCREAMS in this song, he is so into it...it is so cool! and with lyrics like The Bravest thing I've ever done was to run away and hide or The weakest thing I've ever done was to stay right by your side...classic...The next on the list is John Mayer's "St Patricks Day" what can I say about this song that I haven't said in my other entries? Hailey made this song great...her neck.. wow...this song can be played at anytime of the year...even Christmas...I thought it was funny I never mentioned it in my "St Patrick's Day entry on March 17...This song is filled with so many sweet memories of one night...but it's no longer number one...sorry, it just can't be anymore...but I can do this:
No way November will see our goodbyes
When it comes to December, it's obvious why, no one wants to be alone at christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside, making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't  you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe, at least till' St Patricks Day

The way I find new music is really weird...first I'll hear a song...even a fragment of it...if I like it, I'll look it up on line and download it...if I like the song, I'll download more from the same artist...if I like the artist, I'll out and buy the CD...one of the bands that follows this pattern is the Gin Blossoms. I heard them on the radio at about 2 in the morning one day.  The song was "Follow You Down"...Country like tune, with pop lyrics...good group...so I downloaded more songs from them...."Till I Hear it From You" really hit me for some reason...I mean, this song hits me on so many levels...the lyrics are simple, yet meaningful, the tune is catchy and really sweet...it's just such a great song...
I didn't ask
They shouldn't have told me
At first I'd laugh, but now
It's sinking in fast
Whatever they've sold me
Well baby I don't want to
Take advice from fools
I'll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you
 I'm also a big Elvis Costello fan...i think the first song I heard from him was "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" (we jammed to that for a vocal warm up during EOTS) and "I'm in the Mood Again" was another solid song..."She" describes every women in the world...but one I really like is "Complicated Shadows"...I don't really know why...when it comes to picking a favourite song, I'm more of a lyric and music person...Pyro goes for a beat...he's the dancer in the family...I'm the musician..go figure...But Complicated Shadows is one of his quicker songs...relying on the eletric guitar and some nice drum work...with a great bridge...and some of the best lyics of Elvis' work...like
All you gangsters and rude clowns
Who were shooting up the town
When you should have found someone to put the blame on
Though the fury's hot and hard
I still see that cold graveyard
There's a solitary stone that's got your name on
You don't have to take it from me
But I know what I spake
You think you're like iron and steel
But iron and steel will bend and break
In those Complicated Shadows
or
Sometimes justice you will find
Is just dumb not colour-blind
And your poor shattered mind can't take it all in
All those phantoms and those shades
Should Jump up on Judgement Day
And say to the Almighty "I'm still stinking of sin"
Elvis Costello's career has spanned the decades...he's changed his style so many times...caused controversy...(can someone please tell me why they wouldn't let him play "Radio, Radio" on SNL in 1977...? I don't see what was so wrong with that song...) and he's bedding Diana Krall....which is always a bonus...bastard...

A friend of mine wrote an article on Pete Yorn on his website, so I decided to look him up...and Pete also put a track on the first Spiderman soundtrack...I just put that track on a couple weeks ago...and it's really good..."Undercover" is obviously about Spiderman, but it's a great song in general...Being a singer myself, I do appriciate great sounding vocals and unique styles...Yorn is one of those artists (Maroon 5, Mayer, Dashboard are the others)
Say the talk and I won't mind
There's a cause you know I'll never try
And I love you like the one I used to know
And if you never had the time
That's an ordinary problem
And I said I'd like to have a place to go
Great song..I don't want to put the whole lyrics here...I would...but that would just be stupid...
Finally....last song!!! Leonord Cohen is a great Canadian artist who is known for his unique deep vocals and poetic lyrics..."In My Secret Life" is my favourite song from him...It's sad that I first heard it on the TV show "Fastlane" I always seem to atribute this song to clandestine work and spies...obviously...but it works so well...the image I get with this song is someone with a rifle in a sitting prone position making a hit...in a moonlight silhouette..this song is about paradoxes and dealing with sperate parts of yourself..sometimes I'm conflicted....perfect song for me...
Can't seem to loosen my grip on the past
and I miss you so much and there is no one is sight
and we're still making love
In my secret life
I smile when I'm angry, I cheat and i lie
I do what I have to do, to get by
but I know what is wrong and I know what is right...
and I'd die for the truth
in my secret life
Hold on my brother, my sister hold on tight
I finally got my orders
I'll be marching through the morning, marching through the night, marching cross the borders of my secret life

so what if I have guns on the brain....it's just who I am...
List as of August 3rd 2004
1. Blue Rodeo's "5 Days in May"
2. Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved"
3. Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated"
4. Bleu's "Somebody Else"
5. BNL's "Break Your Heart"
6 John Mayer's "St. Patrick's Day"
7.Gin Blossom's "Till I Hear it From You"
8.Elvis Costello's "Complicated Shadows"
9. Pete Yorn's "Undercover"
10. Leonard Cohen's "In My Secret Life"

Honorable Mention:
Matchbox Twenty's "Push"-Something about this song...love it
Wilkinsons' "One of Us is In Love"- That's always the case with me
The Pat Mcgee Band's "Rocketman"- I like this one better than Elton...or Hung....ugh...
Black Lab's "Keep Myself Awake"- Love this song...any song dealing with Rain, sleep or love I like...its weird...

.so there you go...another long, boring pointless song list with endless justifaction...I don't know why I find the need to justify my choices....it's funny that I can go through my old mix CD and know what time of my life it was made at based on the songs...music is about story telling...everyone has a story, everyone has a song...I happen to have 10...
ok, I'm done

-Cleric

PS, sorry about the spelling...I'm tied...err...tired

Mood: Blah

"It's days like these that make me think high school might have meant something in the real world"

"I think it was dot egg or dot muffin"

"it's good to be a romantic, but it's not hopeless"
-that one is an oldie, but a goodie

"I kissed your eyes,you said goodbye, all I wanted was to be needed, all I needed was to be wanted, move on, keep going what we had is gone, breathe, let it go, that's all I need to know"
-that was suppose to be a song...too bad my music writing skills aren't any good

"Bite Me!"
"Where?"
"I don't know, it's my phrase of the month and it's not working the way I wanted it to"

"I am Giles, I have sworn to save this sorry world"
-from "Which Buffy Chracter are You" Quiz

"Dammit, I knew you wouldn't forget twice"

"See? this is what happens when you can't sleep..You run about the internet looking up stupid stuff...."
-I thought about that one after...how do you "run about" the internet?

 I hate breaking peoples hearts(On purpose, those damn groupies can bite me)
-Where's my Fan Appreciation Bat?

"Another thing, it is a magazine or a mag, not a clip. It is not a silencer, it is a suppressor…idiots!"
-Dealing with the gun ignorent is never fun...(sigh)

"Let's do this like Buddhists"
-Still, my favourite Homestar quote(next to Bubs' "Shinnin' up a chicken in the morning, morning")

ok, I am out of quotes for today...but aren't these fun? Hello? Where are you all going?....fsck...

Mood: Tired...again...but  me..18 is weird

ok, what else? Saint and I have been on a sort of whirlwind tour as of late...Today ur..yesterday was the Celebration of Fire and Angel at Jenny's....the day before that was  Collateral and Boston Pizza at 2 in the morning...and the day before that was Angel at Jenny's....whoopie...all I know I am dog tired...it was funny...Pyro asked me why I was staying up so late the past 3 days...I said, I stay up late like this all the time...staying out late is a different story...oh, I just freaked out the manager of the local 711...I came in there at about 3:30 and got a slurpee and  Sobe...I was the only one in there...it was so cool...anyway....the first night at Jenny's was cool...we saw 4 episodes...and her dog Wally...LOVES ME...so thare's one bariar down...next one? the parents....especially the father...the sterotypical father that protects his daughter from "The Boys" it's ok...give me time...another roadblock is Jenny herself...she's a shy person...so she doesn't show her feelings often...bah, it's complicated, but I'm working through it...giving myself a crash course in the Buffyverse again....aka Buffyverse 1100....I'm doing ok.....ran through an entire season's worth of summaries....oh, I always thought Bender was one of a kind...a fat disgusting whore who talks about nothing but sex...I ran into an entire crew of them on the skytrain tonight...I wanted to rip of the safety bar....beat them with it...them beat myself with it.....ok...I think I'm done...I just have to say, I'm getting good at this Love game...I met the dog and won...and hey, if you listen, you can learn anything...126...55..10...22...think about it...

Mood: Tired fficeffice" />

proves what I'd do...I can carry on a decent Buffyverse conversation even though my knowledge lies only in the final season of Buffy...who knew I could learn so much about Angel in a week...I am a sponge...ha, this is the funniest MSN convo I've had in a while. We're both dodging the issue, now suddenly I feel quite hollow...this is now the weirdest convo...I hate that hollow feeling...

~Jen~~ says:
I dont even have my eye on anyone, well, I dont think so. I'm moving on from someone...I hope.

...just fucking great...you can tell I've been a running a little hard these past few days...maybe i'm just paranoid...maybe Im dealing with the fact I've gained 10lbs...maybe I'm a hornary that my eyes are on fire from all the dust and crap I've been wading through...maybe I'm pissed at Jamie for slacking off this week when we all have work to do...ok...I picked up my textbook at couple days ago...downloaded the Angel puppet episode..."YOU'RE A WEE LITTLE PUPPETMAN!" or "I'm made of felt...and my nose comes off"....is it bad to make simliatries between Fred/Wes and Me/Jenny? it's all about signals..."There are things called signals. Odorless, yes. Invisible, certainly, but unmistakable..."
Anyway..I've learned somethings...and I swore to myself...never again...I wonder if  "The Village" is still playing...I heard she wanted to see that...next week..next week...keep chanting....
NEVER AGAIN!

Don't ask me why the colour is so messed up...it's a bad night

Mood: um...tired?

well, I took Jenny to see "The Village"...Good movie...I know, it wasn't the point...it was a weird thing...I mean, I show up at her place at about 9 (I actually remembered where it was!) and we get to the theatre on time and everything. We had a nice conversation on the way there...the lobby was quite crowded so a lot of cashiers were open...I was going to pay for her..but then as we were in line, two tills were free...I went to one...she went to the other...so that was a little weird..but ok, I could deal with that...so the movie was good...I jumped at a few thing...laughed at so many other...I'm not going to ruin the movie....but let's just say the twist is kind of stupid...I was expecting more...so we walked home and I got her home at about midnight...she did one of the worst thing I could have thought of...she rang the doorbell...what the hell am I suppose to do? How can one make a move with a time limit like that? I didn't stick around the see who'd answer the door...if the dad opened it...awkward...bam...I'm out....the mother opened it...again...awkward...if Kevin opened it? well , I don't consider Kevin a "friend" so I'm not breaking any rules there (One may not date a friends sister) but it would have been awkward too...I have never seen a woman cross her arms so much...Is she nervous? Shy? Scared? Of Me? Non-threatening little me? Saint keeps saying Jenny has the hots for me...she knows these kind of things...Saint knows Jenny well....they did a play together and we're all acting folk and that's a powerful bond...but she is still nervous...I'm working on it...slowly...Saint is doing her part to break the ice...finally paying me back for all of the relationship "missions" I had to run for her...I don't care...that's what friends do for each other....Jenny signals are a little fuzzy...it's not like I have any experience with this kind of stuff...I mean, yeah, that infamous five hour crash course in dating....sure, but Hailey was different...she wasn't shy...Can't I write one of these things without mentioning her? I guess not....not meaning to change the subject, but Hailey did change the way I look at life...she showed me there is hope for me of the relationship front and that I'm not as worthless as I once though...Once in a while I'll think back to what would have been...then I stop and think about Jenny...you know the song 867-5309? Blink 182 did a cover of that song and that's how I remember Jenny's phone number...it ends in a 9 so the song works...isn't that cool!? I just hum the tune..I think it's kind of cute...I made a playlist of Women Names songs once...like the Allman Brothers Melissa...Rolling Stones Angie(Imagine if every woman a song was written about sued for royalties....Hey Mick...it's Angie...) Elvis Costello Allison...Bowling for Soup Emily...I always liked songs like that...oh, I don't think John Mayer's Why Georgia is about a woman...I always had a problem with women named after states...just kidding...the BNL's Jane is a good one too....AFI's My Michelle is another one...Anyway...Jenny...yeah, she's on my mind a lot...but this isn't a weird one way thing...like so many before...either way...so I think this might have a nice ending...Shawn rolled by with his new soundsystem yesterday...that thing rocks...his car isn't the best looking thing...but you can still hear it from a mile away...He couldn't get into Kwat because he marks were kind of low and he couldn't switch his program either, so he has to go back to nightschool to upgrade....Omar finally got all his courses figured out...sure, he has 3 at the Richmond campus and only 1 at surrey...and he has to switch campuses several times a day...poor guy...Elana moves into residence August 31...I am proud of her...her high school academic career was less than stellar...she was in my Math 10 essentials class...she watched me write the LPI from outside the cafe...and she slacked off in CAPP...but she made it into SFU...that's just so cool...I hope she's still there in a couple years when I get out there...Kyle is out there too...Hardy arrived at Duke a few days ago...that's awesome...I've known that guy since grade 1 and he moved away in grade 4, but we kept in touch through email..Kyle brought him over on his last night in province and we hung for a while...it was nice to revisit those old times....We fought over this one girl in grade 3(Emily Harrison)...a gentlemen's duel of sorts....I won...didn't do me any good though...I went airsofting with him awhile back too...he has...had a tricked out M4 and a pair of Berettas and a nice MAC 10 with a suppressor...advantages of having people in Taiwan...Kyle and I might go with him back there one summer...that'd be cool...go back to the motherland...ok...maybe not the motherland...I am Asian though...well...half...going to Japan wouldn't be a bad idea either...Megatokyo style...I wouldn't mind leaving the continent once or twice...I was going to format my comp today..but for some reason it wouldn't work the way I've done it before...so I got a little stressed out...I'll do a bit more research and try it again someother time...the heat is really getting to me....one of the reasons I can't sleep...I'm not a warm weather person...I'd rather be in the freezing cold than the boiling hot...and I like the rain...that's an advantage when you're on the West Coast...hasn't rained hard in months...bring on the fall! Jamie is getting more annoying by the day....we can't control him...he has literally spit in the face of authority...that pissed by dad off...but we can't stop him...we can't punish him...back in the day I would just beat the hell out of him....it's what brothers do...but know, he's gotten a little too big for his britches and we can't do anything about it...Speaking of brothers.... John Heffron won last comic standing...I was pulling for the guy when he said he was the older brother of two...my favourite bit from him: "My mom gave us a Nerf football and said you can't possibly hurt yourselves with that...That sounds like a challenge...soak it in water for a week...freeze it..now you have a game...FFFTHHHIPPPP!....Why are you crying? It's just a Nerf Ball!" That is something I'd do....Jamie and I were cleaning out the closet last week...he pick out this little foam ball...we both start laughing...we have our good moments...he's my brother...I hate him...I think he's an asshole...but he's my brother...same with a lot of my friends....he's my friend...but he's asshole...that's why he's my friend...So that's pretty much been my week...Garage sale...that is such a great psychology study...especially Parenting Styles...I was out there going...Permissive...Authoritative...Authoritarian...good stuff.....my "date" with Jenny...God...my mom asked me how my date went...I told her it wasn't a date...I have to take and make all my phone calls outside so no one hears them...it's sad....Saint begun a MSN conversation with "How ur Lover?" in reference to Jenny....my answer was " I wish" So I don't know how the future is going to go with Jenny and myself...her signals are just a confusing (as she puts it confuzzled) mess...but who else would stay up till four and talk with me on MSN?
Only Jenny…so sweet…so quiet…

Mood: Tired beyond human description

well, after a few days of missed opurtunities, Saint and I finally hung out last night. The day before the family had rented both Kill Bills, Saint only wanted to see the second one, so she came around 7 and we finished off the movie around 9...The second one is so much better than the first, a real classic Tarantino style movie vs the first one...anyway, after that we made our way to Jenny's to watch the final 3 episodes of Angel. Including one of my personal favourites "The Girl in Question" and "Not Fade Away" I started to laugh my head off because Andrew came back on Angel wearing a Strongbad shirt...again, another inside joke only I seemed to get...the other one was in "A Hole in the World" and had to do with Les Mis...I finally got to see the Finale of Angel, the transcripts do no do it justice. Yes, i was crying when Wes died...I knew I would...Jenny didn't even look and she's seen it several times...I don't know about last night, Jenny and I actually got physically closer than we ever have been before...that's not saying much, she seemed less nervous..which was a good thing...having Saint there seems to make her easier to approach, which is weird.....Saint was talking on her cell phone to Harvey most of the night...Harvey is her latest BF and he's still working out in Edmonton, so their relationship is long distance for the moment. The sad thing is, with the last episode of Angel, I have to find new reason to go hang with Jenny....yeah, last night was pretty cool...we finished the Angel episodes around 1, and I didn't leave until at least 5:30...any later and her mom would have woken up and I would have a lot explaining to do....I think I've found a new level in myself..I kept finding myself trying to brush Jenny's leg or hold her hand while we were on the couch...that sounds really junvinille....but with her, anything is a step in the right direction...but the old me wouldn't have even tried. So  I have evolved...and it's kind of nice...Yeah, I know I'm taking thing slow, but Jenny isn't the kind of girl to go fast and I'm completely fine with that...if I bide my time and make the right moves, life is going to be good...I think we might have something special...I realized after watching Kill Bill and a lot of Angel...my mood changed...we all started talking about Bender and such and I think I said something like..."If I had the balls, the means and the time I'd gut her like a fish" of course, we all laughed at it...funny, that's how each of us felt...Saint and I both hated her for what she did do us...Jenny hated her for she did to her family...her brother specifically...so I don't think any of us would object...I'm glad Jenny understands the entire story...she's one of the few people that does...she seems to understand better than anybody...Saint for some reason, began to fill Jenny in on the more embarrsing point of out friendship...ie, the teddy bear...the pillow jacker thing...it's ok, if it's with Jenny I could care less...I think she'd find out those thing eventually anyway...it's funny if they come from Saint...anyway...life is going good...back to school in a week..got all my books and I'm all set to rock Kwat...

Currently Playing: Gin Blossom's "Hey Jealousy"
I don't know, I've come to like Gin Blossoms...I found out a while back that they were formed in 1987 and broke up in 1993 because a band member killed himself...but I heard they were putting out a new album...

Mood: Hurtin'

Note to self, never, ever, wear new shoes when walking with Saint for a long distance...The blisters on my heels are the size of toonies...Anything for a friend though, she needed someone to walk her to her new BF's place...which was 20 blocks through a part part of town (coughsurreycough)...we left at midnight and we made good time...funny thing was, I wore the shoes all day and they began to hurt 5 blocks in...it's just part of the breaking in process...I hate Itunes right now...after a long brutal XP format last week I reinstalled Itunes and reconfigured my Ipod..again...the thing I forgot was Itunes is set to automatically update...so when it updates a library with nothing it, you get nothing on the Ipod...so I had fun turning all my CD's into Mp3 again...all 650 tracks...3 days...to rebuild a collection that took me 3 months to create...I'm not that mad, at least I learned something...NEVER SET ITUNES TO AUTO UPDATE EVER!!!....the funny thing, my friends and I joked about his when I first got it...saying that you should erase your library and set to autoupdate...I called him an ass and said I knew what would happen...apparently I forgot...anyway, My Ipod is fine...but I did have weird dreams about it crying last night...combined with elementary school dodge/handball and a weird gym teacher...that has to go down as one of the most messed up dreams I've ever had...it even had muisic in it...Pyro was playing Caroline's Spine that morning, so Sullivin was playing...it's amazing what the brain incorperates into a dream...After taking Psych, the subconcous dream theory always seemed to be the right one to me. I can look back at certain dreams and know which part of the day that image came from...sometimes I try to control them by thinking of something else...works sometimes...Saint is still bringing up Jenny...she thought I should have invited her for a "Sleep-Over" yesterday...I laughed so hard...Number one: My parents would never allow it...but they don't have to know...Number Two: Her parents wouldn't allow it...I mean ,if they would have known I stayed until five that last time, I would have been hung up by my..well you know the rest.. and three: Jenny herself wouldn't go for it...she would have to lie to her parents. She wouldn't lie to her parents for me...and I don't expect her to...But in a brief instant last night, it seemed like a REALLY good idea...but then Saint would have wanted Harvey over...(the reason she brought it up) and I just couldn't allow that. I mean, when it comes to things like that, this isn't my house...my parents would have killed me. But I do have to admit...I really wanted Jenny to come over that night...it would have been a nice ending to a shitty week. My sleep patterns have gone to hell, I'm overeating and just feeling like crap...wait, did I say that like a month ago? Dammit, nothing seems to change...Maybe Kwat will change things...found out today that the orientation is for the whole day...9-3...I thought it'd be an hour or two...oh well....I'll probably run into a few old friends...and some old enemies...I should bring my gun...I mean, it's going to be fun...yeah...a little "Grosse Point Blank" humor...I was quite happy to find a IMDB poll asking who is the nicest movie hitman...I was torn between John Cussak as Martin Q Blank or Jean Reno as Leon...after a bit, I went with Leon...of course, he won by 50%. I can't wait for the seaqual to come out...with Natalie Portman..all grown up...with 2 guns blazing...yay! Saint and I wanted to see Garden State this week..but it's not at the local theatre...yet...but Hero is out..and We've been talking about that for months...I'm still pissed I missed Zatoichi in the theatres...I don't even think the local theatre had it...I'd been dying to see it...there's always video...but it's just not the same...Pyro has gotten me hooked on Inuyasha...an anmie...and it's on YTV in Canada...which for those who don't know, is primarally a kids network...but Inuyasha uses some descriptive languauge...well, descriptive for YTV...Prick, Damn, Dammit, Oh Lord, Shut up...etc...Pryo says he's heard fuck in one the episodes...I don't believe that...but one this I noticed...Canadian voice actors are recycled..I can pick out at least 8 or 9 that have done other shows...other animes....have the Dragonball Z cast is on the show...Goku's voice and Piccolo and such...Inuyasha a good replacement since they canned Gundam Wing...which was dark and depressing as hell...I wrote a grade 9 Rememberence Day play after watching a Gundam Wing Episode...and I do like the large fighting robots...I've never been a hardcore Anime fan...just a fleeting interest...we went to this "convention" at a Japanese Cultural Centre...one of out aunts lived close and knew some people organizing it...the reason I use quotes...this was nothing like the real hardcore ones I've heard about...but there still were people dressed in costumes...those freaky cat-women still scare me out...and a 300lbs guy in an Inuyasha outfit...looked like a firetruck...This was a few years about, so I realized it was Inuyasha a few weeks ago...but it freaked me right out...I was glad I didn't go to a Star Trek Convention for my 8th Birthday...those are just WEIRD!!! Oh god..I used to be a trekkie and a Jedi...I'm glad I got out of that phase...I should thank Lucas for making a shitty 1st and 2nd Star Wars and finally getting me out...Lucas has lost his way...what happened the good old fashion movie making where special effects were obsticles to overcome, not grandious shows that try to make up for lack of plot? Speaking of directors...I still have to say Kill Bill II was better than I...II was a classic Tarantinostyle of movie...1..was more of a magnum opus of martial arts...but II had no trunk shot, which is a Tarantino trademark...if I ever direct a movie...I'm having at least one trunkshot...and maybe someother trademark...like having...a Nalgene waterbottle in the background of every scene...Don't ask me why...I just have one beside me...and it's 2 in the morning....Can I talk about Jenny again? I think it might be something...We'll just have to see...

-Cleric

Currently Playing: Gin Blossoms' "Pieces of the Night"
Does this sound like it could have been played at a prom or something?

Mood: Blah

"Isn't it any wonder that the stars don't just rush by, doing nearly 60 on this oh-so-vacant night"
"12th night, rainfall...what the hell did you expect to find?"

Sorry, those are the wrong lyrics to "Pieces of the Night", yet those are the ones going through my head. It raises the question, what's considered a vacant night? I've heard of a vacant stare. Whatever. I thought Gin Blossoms' lyrics were hard to understand. Then I began to really listen to Nirvana. Yeah. Ok. Kurt was a musical genius, I'll give him that. But Moquito and Libedo, give me a break. Teen Spirit wasn't a great song lyric wise. Dumb? Great! Rape Me? Of course! no no no no, wait, that came out wrong. About a Girl sounds like it has good lyrics to it. I'm just too tired to look them up right now. Jenny got me on to the other Nirvana songs. I had been listen to Rape Me and Teen Spirit. She recommended Dumb. Very poetic lyrics. I realized this morning the Ipod had 666 songs on it. I thought that was really cool. Even though I'm going to wreck that by putting on About a Girl and maybe something else, probably Demon Hunters "Heartstrings Come Undone" Which is in the new Resident Evil movie. Saint and I saw the full trailer when we saw Hero. Hero was a great movie. I almost jumped out of my seat in joy when the first subtitle came on. The one thing that can ruin a great foriegn movie is shitty dubbing. I watch the first 5 mintues of Black Mask and had to turn it off because I was just sickened by the voice acting. But Hero was just outstanding. It's one of those big in asia movies that finally come out to North American audiences once the stupid heads in Hollywood decide it's good enough. Shaolin Soccer is one of those. It's due to hit North American theatres soon. But I saw it 3 or 4 years ago with Saint on DVD. Can you imagine they actually wanted to call it Kung Fu Soccer for the North American release?! That's just pointless. It would be like calling Star Wars Happy Clown Hour. They play soccer based on Shaolin prinicples, not with Kung Fu moves. AMERICANS!!! Sometimes, I just don't know. With Canada being the bigger country and more northward, Hey that reminds me. We're Canada, we're bigger and ontop. In prison, the States would be our bitch. I don't understand why the American election campaigns need to last 2 years or so. We get it over with in a couple of months. Thank God we were a British colony. If not, I'd fear we'd just be part of the States. Manifest Destiny would just rule. I still have a funny feeling they still believe in that. LOOK OUT MEXICO! NO, IT'S TOO LATE! Sorry, it's late/early. I'm a little goofy. I was yesterday too. Shouldn't have had that Slurpee after the movie. Scratch that,  I shouldn't have had the Froster. Yes, it is the Mac's take off, but Mac has a 7-Up flavour 9/10 times I've been there. While Sev only has it two or three times a year and it's usually in the "off season" I  have been known to get a slurpee in autum months. It's not that bad. I stayed with Jenny online a couple nights ago. From about 2am-5. Don't ask me what she was doing up at 2. She's just that kind of person. Makes me think of Marvelous 3's "Vampires in Love" I'm wide awake and your wide awake and I don't think that I'm getting tired at all, and we're nothing more than vampires in love. I think it's ironic that I found that song attached to a Angel/Buffy clip video done a few years ago. That would put it in, I think, season 2,3,4 of Buffy. Jenny would know. I remember I tried to get that song requested at a school dance. The DJ looked at me like I was crazy. The one problem with liking diverse music, is getting requests at large events. Like weddings. Even the groomsman can't get "Six Blade Knife" played. I have a picture of Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine on my desktop right now. I do have to give her credit, with darker hair, she looks incredible. Her press headshot on the IMDB isn't that great and it makes her look, well, weird. But with the short brunette/redish hair. Wow. The one thing I like about the Jill Valentine costume from REII is that it is exactly the same as the game cosutme from REIII. Being a gun nut and pro Beretta, I was slightly dissapointed that Jill isn't carrying the S.T.A.R.S issue Beretta. They even included the white sweater tied around her waist, the skirt and the very nice blue tube top. Not the best zombie stomping gear, but hey, great to look at. Women with darker hair tend to look more attractive, well, to me at least. I've always been a sucker for brunettes. Wait, is Brunette almost black in colour? or just anything that isn't blonde or red? Meh, figure that out later. But Mandy Moore? She was cute with blonde hair, but drop dead gorgeus with the darker doo. Even Nicky Hilton looks good with the brunette dye job and I don't really like her.(I've been in Paris, want to see the video?" ) Speaking of REII, I'm happy to see Oded Fehr back in a movie. He was great in UC: Undercover. A short lived, but excellent show. This guy is an amazing actor. He's playing Carlos Olivera from REIII...who is obviously of a Mexican decent. Even though he was born in Israel of Arab decent. He's one of those guys that can play any race out there. Same with Ben Kingsley. I think I heard Ebert say with reguards to "The House of Sand and Fog" something like Kingsley is trying to play every single minority out there. He's doing a good job. I'm a bit dissapointed "Garden State" isn't playing in the local theatres in my area. I guess it's too indie. Anyway, I like Zach Braff. Scrubs is one of the best sitcoms still going. Anything to stop the endless tide of reality TV shows. He's funny as hell. Natatlie Portman? What can I say? She's going to be the only reason I go back to see the third Shit Wars, sorry, Star Wars movie. and if we all chant loud enough, Luc Besson will write it. Come on now, "Professional II" "Professional II""Professional II""Professional II""Professional II""Professional II""Professional II""Professional II" I might have mentioned it in a previous blog. But if this movie ever comes out, Saint and I will freak out. I loved "Leon" THE BEST HITMAN MOVIE EVER MADE! Jean Reno is great. But that 12 year old Natalie grew up into a fine looking woman and she needs to be armed with double Berettas and sunglasses and go on a rampage against the criminal underworld. Right? Tell me I'm not the only one? I had no idea Luc Besson was almost married to Milla Jovoich. She said in a press conference she trained 6 hours a day, 7 days a week for RE II and is looking better than she did when she was 16 and she's 28. She almost said something about her breasts. But that was cut off. Too bad. I was dissapointed by her recent Maxim Shoot. I don't know why. Maybe it's that weird pouty model face she constantly makes. I don't blame her, she is after all, a model. But that freaks me out. One more thing, Carmella Decesare, a model with an absoulely perfect body entered that WWE Diva search thing. I noticed her last week when I was flicking channels. Another thing I noticed, her boobs were at least 3-4 times bigger than they were a couple months ago. I was so dissapointed. She was on the most natural beatiful models I had ever seen. But to get implants? It brings a tear to my eye. Don't ask me why I brought it up. It was one of those things that has been bothering me alot. Oh and yes, I did see her in Playboy.  Playmate of the Year 2004. One of the only ones to not have any augmentation was so ever. I guess she can't put that claim on her resume anymore. All this relationship stuff with Saint and Harvey makes me rethink my own postition of things. Jenny isn't the kind of girl to go fast, or even show any sign. Saint sees it. I think I do. I've made my moves. Nothing. Hard to play chess if the other player isn't moving the pieces. What kind of war is this? Not like the ones I remember. Saint has the ability to start a relationship. If only I had that power. This would be easier. I don't think this thing with Jenny is love(yet) as of now, it's the sheer want for companionship and to maybe(just maybe) recapture some of the feelings I felt on February 14, 2004, 9:43pm. No, that time is not accurate. I just throw it into the story of that night to make it seem like it was that well burned into my memory. It's a ballparked figure. Concert at 7:30, Mayer does a 2 hour set, so STPD would have been around then. It came on the Ipod last night and I just about panicked. Then I calmed down and just let my mind go back. I think it's what I needed. The weather shift has caught me a little off guard and I've been really listless lately. More than usual. I have a week until I enter what should be some of the best  years of my life. But as Februrary 14th 2004 showed me: "Nothing planned ever works."

-Cleric-
Finally! After so long: Weapon of the Week:The SPR(Special Purpose Rifle aka. MK12 MOD 0)The Royals Royce of the M16 Varient. The fine men and women at Crane Naval Surface Warfare Centre designed a designated marksmen rifle that would make an Israeli jealous. This bad boy is filled with so many customized match part that I cannot list them hear. But included in the SPR package you get: an 18inch 1:7 twist match grade free floating barrel attached to an OPS muzzle break placed inside a Percision Reflex 2nd Generation handguard with an ARMS SWAN (#38) optic mount with an attached Leupold MRT scope all placed on to a Single/Safe M4 lower with a Crane NSWC battery compartment stock and a very nice grip. Yum. This baby is meant for short to medium range sniping. Currently being used in Iraq. This thing is so good, it comes with it's own ammuntion. The standard M193 and M885 Ball rounds are just too inaccurate, so the MK262 ball round was born. At a very nice 77gr (5 g) weight, this Hollowpoint, Boattailed round can engage a target up to 800m. Try to do that with your average M16a4 and M885. Nottagonnahappen Sunshine, as a former english teacher used to put it. Even if you do not like guns, you do have to admit, this thing looks nice. and hey! I finally figured out how to retract the M4 style stock. Just press in the bottom part, It's actually a release button!
Real lyrics:"Is it any wonder that the stars just don’t rush by
When you’re only doin’ 60 through this oh-so-vacant night
Twelfth night we go
After something everyone should know
Hey! It is a vacant night. Cool!"
Notice:****FIRST ENTRY THAT I DID NOT USE THE TRIPLE PERIOD BETWEEN SENTENCES. IT'S HARDER THAN YOU THINK!***