Mood: Ugh



Most people think losing an hour of sleep isn't a big thing, but when you only
get three hours a night...yeah, it becomes a problem. The Cleric Standard Issue
Sleep Depravation is made worse coming off that Saturday Closer/Sunday Opener
shifts. At least I have two nice shifts this week. Brokeback Weekend isn't
going to be fun...all the ignorant people. Just don't rent it...come on...you
don't have to say why you don't want to rent it...just don't rent it.



Whatelse Whatelse Whatelse?



Elizabeth's
Birthday is on Wednesday...Here's hoping I can see her this weekend...I do have
her very excellent present. My source came through. Woo! Sources. I can never
give movies/dvds for gifts anymore...it just seems cheap. I've been told I'll
get over that with time.



About a couple weeks left in the semester...then it's four months of working,
training and relaxation...maybe I'll take up a hobby...like drinking.



Hmmm, I'm done...watching Angel then I might go to bed...or something



probably something



-Cleric

....5...4...3...2...1..(Sigh)



Yeah, it's been one of those nights. Let's start...shall we? Class was class, I
don't want to talk about it. Psych Causes of Crime is easy, just right now I'm
not in the mood for things of that nature. Came home, got a big coffee and a zucchini
walnut muffin. Watched DS9, played some Ratchet and Clank...(all weapons lvl
99)then cleaned the games room. Stress Cleaning is back. I clean so I can
actually accomplish something when everything else is out of control. I phoned Elizabeth around 4:30 and
we've set up something for her birthday on sunday(despite her actually birthday
being tomorrow)...Here's where the trouble starts...



Usually I work 5-11:30 tuesday...so I arrived at ten too and I expected to be
put to work. After blankly staring at the schedule for the better part of a
minute, Mark informed me that I started at 8...not 5. At this moment in time I
had two choices...(one came up after...) anyway, I could have:



A) Stayed and helped Mark and Drew work through a hellish PV shift

B) Phoned Elizabeth back up and hang with her for those 3 hours before
my shift...



Can you take a guess which one I did?



I'll tell you at the end....



Or right now...because thats' where it fit...I picked A because I was in the
mindset to work at 5 and I didn't want to stop. Drew and Mark where otherwise
occupied doing PVs...did you know you have to do adult PVs while setting on the
floor because they can't be above the counter line? Ewww indeed...needless to
say, I helped stem off what could have been an abnormally busy shift...I was
still buried in returns...it would have been even worse if I had shown up at
8...anyway, that was a bad boyfriend moment for me. Technically I was
misinformed....still...



Speaking of women, I don't see why Britany can't call Elizabeth by her name instead of *Cleric's*
Girlfriend. Britany ran into Elizabeth on the
bus and again when Elizabeth
came into the store...



The way she says it too...with such hate and distain. If I didn't know better
I'd think...nawh...that would be silly...Dani too? Silly. Just my inflated
ego...my wha?



Tomorrow's Objectives:

-Psych Modules 20-31(or in intervals of three)

-Psych Stats Assignment 2(Should take 20 minutes-make second copy/Pay library
late fee)

   yes, I know, that's hypocritical...

-Survive Psych Stats

-Phone Elizabeth after Psych Stats(maybe flowers)

-Sleep at least 8 hours



You can hold me to most of those...except the last one...Surviving Psych Stats
is relative...as long as I don't come home, collapse on the floor in the fetal
position, I've survived...coming home mentally and spiritually broken sort of
counts...not so much...At least Omar is riding shotgun this class...Omar
actually does ride shotgun...Mossberg 500 with a pistol grip I suspect...A
Watchers Special...



Hmm, I'm going to get some sleep...seriously...I'm not kidding...no joke...



-Cleric



*I've only used my real name twice...*

Mood: Meh

It is a matter of semantics, it always is. Yes, the "Luv Ya"
(pardon my nightmarish grammar) line at the end of a 20 minute phone call with Elizabeth was a
throwaway...but I didn't except a "yeah, bye" response. They say
people who are emotionally mature and stable can take little things like this
well and continue in the relationship...um...no, I think I've covered both of
those over the past four months. I'm just a little distressed at the fact I
can't see her more than twice a week. Maybe Sunday(if not working) and maybe
friday night after class.

Social Psych is Death

Psych Stats is Death

I spent yesterday doing the assignment for Psych Stats, I guess my understanding
is all in head because when we "marked" it in class I don't think I
did that well. Meh. I'll have a better understanding next term...bah, always
next term...I have 6 of those damned modules to do...before monday...or during
monday...Eye appointment tomorrow morning. The one thing I hate about contacts
is the constant follow up that is required...it's not like I got Bionic
eyes...oooer, Bionic eyes....*insert Bionic Man Sounds*

I'm still trying to rationalize it. Ok, I'm stressed right now. I have
school, work and relationship issues fast approaching. But didn't I have the
same issues last semester? Yep. and look how I did. Not too shabby. But now?
What? I think my work ethic is at it's all time low...at least when it comes to
academic subjects...and anything self paced...guh...NST. I'm doing that sunday
to avoid...you know, being fired...terminated as it were. And in this line of
work, you're actually Arnuld TERMINATED! Vulcan cannons and shotguns and the
like.

You know when the clerk at the local store asks to see ID when you buy
orange juice and bananas is a little shocking at first, of course she was
making a Firm joke as "you guys always ask for it"...It was funny
after...

I should get going...Bus to catch and such...

Still not sleeping...still can't get pills....I need to find a new doctor

-Cleric

Mood: Hmmm



I was going to say something profound yesterday, but for some reason it escaped
me. Day II of the Social Psych Module Completion. The third and final day is on
monday where I'll do the last 3 in class...Today I'm doing 2 writings of 2. I
guess I have 7 unlike the six I claimed to have to finish yesterday...



Went to bed at around 2:30...up at 6:30...give or take. I can't comprehend why
I'm always up. It's not doing me any good. I'm not doing anything constructive.




Looking at my account yesterday, 90% of my transactions are coffee based. I
think I'm going to lay of coffee for a month. What I mean is that I'm not going
to buy coffee outside the house. It's a common complaint with debit cards...you
just use it and it's not like your spending money...but you are. I have to
resist the urge to use my credit card on the Itunes music store.



What am I doing saturday? Working...it's not the midshift, but it's not
closing...it's just...late...Sunday is reserved for two important
events...Elizabeth's post birthday thing(Date I guess) and NST...which I have
to finish in two weeks or I get fired....



Maybe I should actually get some work done...my class is at 2...which gives me
plenty of time to study and write 4 six question multiple choice tests.



Things I have learned this semester:

1) Stats Sucks

2) Self Paced Courses + Me = Bad



Other than that, it's been pretty much bleh, blaw, blip-blipitty bloo...



Grumble Grumble (sigh)...Bleck
Blah, Meh...Whaa...(sigh)...



I think that's all I got right now...



Oh, I got my blood pressure checked yesterday...I don't know why...Nursing
students were setting up in the Lobby...and I was there anyway...110/60 which
is low...shocker...I swore I'd be really high with all the stress and
coffee...even after a shower, I still smell like coffee...like it's coming out
of my pours...



(SIGH)



Gak...I'm done

Mood: Ugh, but better



I don't know if the title fits what I am about to say...I just like the song by
the Fray...



Work was...different today. I get a call around nooish from Britany. Without
going into too much detail, Britany was unable to work for a couple hours and
she needed me to cover. Instead of covering those couple hours, we simply
switched shifts... which would put her in at 5. I was now out at 9 instead of
11. Which is nice....anyway...good shift...next week is "Dress as your
favourite movie character day" You know what I'm doing...Fight Club...



Tomorrow? Elizabeth, Elizabeth....Mmmm...our
little birthday celebration...maybe dinner...and flowers...I can do
flowers...Tonight was movie night, tomorrow is living night!



Anyway, I'm tired...I'll be up early at the florists...maybe not the
supermarket one...I know that little one in the nearby shopping plaza Saint and
I went for Mothers Day last year...something special...



-Cleric

Mood: Meh



Alright, so today WAS a movie day...and that little florist was closed for some
reason...but an arrangement of pink roses in a vase still looked good and the
ring fit perfectly...I am a good boyfriend. I'm just questioning the
orientation of her ring... (Sigh)...like everything: "Don't Over Think
It."



So, Capote...it was great. Apparently Harper Lee was in it(Catherine
Keener)...writing that "killing birds" book that get jammed down
every grade 10s throat. Again, I like books and literature but writing chapter
questions and papers on them tends to ruin things for me. I'm doing Pyro's
Romero and Juliet assignment because I'm the only one in the house with 3 years
of Romeo and Juliet under his belt(sigh)...Acting 9/Grade 10/English 1204. That
automatically makes me the academic hired gun for this mission...(sigh)



Also I've redeemed myself in the eyes of Elizabeth
and the Gaming PTB...I whooped her in every racing game I owned for the PS2 and
Gamecube. I have to represent infront of my girl every now and then... XGIII
was awesome on the GCN. That reminded me of the fan fic I wrote about it...if
only I could find it...that was years ago. It was pretty good for what I
remembered...I used to be a good writer...I wonder what happened...



Tomorrow? God forbid...5 Psych Modules spread out over the entire
day...29/30/31 done inclass...25/27/28 done sometime after-that before
8pm...This is the last week...once I get that NST done then it's smooth sailing
for 4 months...regardless of my marks...how ever horrible they may or may
be...(that was intentional...that's not getting a "may not")



Why am I thinking that I squandered this weekend? I was up early saturday and
worked that night. I was up early today and had a nice time with Elizabeth...watched
movies....I mean, it's been pretty cool...so why that thought that it was
wasted? Meh. I'll figure it out.



I've said it once and I'll say it again: Starfleet Marines are so POINTLESS,
but they are SO COOL!



Mmmm, I'm done...Pyro's thing to finish...(sigh)...



-Cleric

Mood: relived, but not done yet...



Finished all those Social Psych Modules...just doing 29/30/31 in class felt so
good...I believe in research karma...you participate in EVERYONE's study groups
because one day you will need participants and you never know who you'll come
across...so I filled out a survey, drank a juice box while filling out a questionnaire
and worked with a drop down interface program...that was just today. Throughout
this semester I've done questionnaires, looked at pictures and picked
suspects...Oh the life of an undergrad. Bottom of the Food Chain. I've been
told to ally with a Prof so you can corner a class to get a sample group. I do
enjoy debriefings...



Whatelse? Oh, I woke up in a panic after a short nap after I realized Capote
was due in 3 hours. So I returned it, drop in on the Crew. Talked with Staci on
her break as Britany and Melissa came by. I rented Chicken Little and Stay.
I'll get to them tomorrow. Oh, I might buy a newly PVd copy of Garden State
to complete my Natalie Portman compulsive liar trilogy...



Tomorrow? I'm going to class and taking it easy...Wednesday is the Stats
"Final"(10%) and Thursday's class is cancelled...meaning I'll do all
that NST in one fell swoop. I've been told it takes roughly four hours. I can
break that up across a day...



I stopped at the local supermarket today....anyway I was thinking while I was
in there do I need any of the basics...



1. Dental floss? We're good

2. Contact Fluid? Tons!

3. Deodorant? Swimming in it (in the bar stuff?)

4. Acne Wash?
Lots!

5. Hair Gel? Four bottles scattered about the house...



I'm really simple...add some coffee and I'm set...Wow, I'm obsessed with hygiene...



"Oh it's ok...he doesn't matter...he works here..."



I can't find that XGIII Fan Fic, but I do remember it being really well done
for my age at the time... (sigh)....



Done...

Mood:



Mmmm, last day of classes...one would assume I'd feel better about this. I
think it's a hollow victory. B+ in Social Psych though...which is pretty high
on the "Work to Grade" Ratio...2:71?



Worst Semester Ever



Yeah, I think I've figured out the root cause based on previous semesters with
similar variables. Based on empirical research data, there is no one root cause
of a WSE...



One must analyse the sum of the detrimental effects of all factors involved and
the total damage inflicted. Basically, while trying to complete the Trinity:
things slipped...I can't blame everything on a self created psychological
construct now can I? Nope. It's all me. The fact I can't manage my time or the
fact I don't work hard enough in classes. I'm academically jaded after doing
this for 2 years. Sad, I know...one would I assume I would get jaded after 3 or
4 years. But if one gets jaded after that long, the undergrad is done and there
is little to become academically jaded about. I hope these four months will be
a good thing for me...



of course, that is...if I can keep my job. I miscounted...my six month review
is THIS months...November/December/January/February/March/April...as long as
get my NST done before I go into work on Saturday I should be ok.



"If you want to know the moment I knew that I was still alone, I found I
never learned your number, I only stored it in my phone..."



Um...it starts with a 5...and ends in a...? There might be a 7 in it...



I didn't need to run into Dani either. Part of me hoped I would...that's a bad
part of me...well, that's the worst part I have...not like it's bad in
comparison to other people.



What was I saying? I can't even remember...Omar is ranting on about the stats
test in 45 minutes...What he's doing at home, I just don't understand....it
takes him a whlie to get out here...



Other than that, I should get on scheduling that eye appointment to pick up the
contacts for a final fitting..



Cognitive Dissonance Sucks



-Cleric