Happy Canada Day to those who observe the holiday. HotShotKid is running around in an outfit similar to that of Mark's Canadian Elite Soldiers Group.

I always observe it, but I still work. 7-11 incase things go to shits late at night. Probably not. I was in there earlier.

Want to know why I was in there earlier? Oh...here we go.

I got up about 10 to 2. I lay in bed for a bit until I got a text message from Staci saying that Matt and Brit were going on about White Spot and she needed a save. I offered coffee and somehow her response caused me to text "That's not an answer. That's confusing. Mezzed*."  

Anyway I ended up bringing her an orange cream frap which is "subtle" and that's what she wanted.

I hung out for a while until I figured I was in the way of Firm Operations if I wasn't actually working.

I want you to read that third paragraph again. If I didn't know better, I swear the writer of it was dating this "Staci" in question. No, I'm not and never will. It's Faux Dating. Just like Friday. We met for coffee before her shift at 6:30(Mine was at 7:30). I had to pick up Greek for the family so I invited her to dinner and she *groans* ate dinner with my family. Let's just say Pyro has less than stellar table manners, but these days I'm happy if he comes to table in pants.  She went to work, I followed an hour later. Done and Done.

Saint said that definitely sounds like dating. Hence: Faux Dating. Dates without the intimacy.

Realize this: I'm a consummate employee and my emotional state will never compromise my judgment.

I've also come to the conclusion it would be silly to quit my safe comfortable job right now just to have the slim change to possible offer the idea of dating Staci. That's a few steps from actually doing anything.

I'll end it there. I'm overthinking things again.

CoH News: I ran Mydnight with Sun's Fire/Rad Controller. Good Times. First time we've both played as guys. Ha.

Anything else? Nope, I'm good. I'm just deciding which version of Metric's "Soft Rock Star" I like the most.

*It’s a CoH term referring to a status like sleep, confusion, terror, etc.

-Cleric 

Yes, on the 4th of July a Canadian made a Broadsword/Regen scrapper named "Freedom Franny." I couldn't make her on Virtue, so...um Freedom seemed appropriate. For some reason I made Franny look like Amy Acker. At least, that's the idea I was going for. Roughly 5'11, petite build, mostly leg. Fran wields a broadsword larger than she is. Deflects German tank shells for kicks. There's a dark part to her "recruitment." Ends up being The HSKs Aunt June...If the server transfer system goes up, Freedom Franny is moving over to Virtue....

I'm in an Amy Acker mood. I found her "The Unit" pilot which is way better than the actually pilot.

Um. I've taken myself off the grid for a couple days. I checked my phone today. A few missed calls, 1 voice mail and 1 text message from Staci saying "I am really drunk." Good for her, she doesn't do it often enough.  

I'm still running Whistler prep. I hope I can get the hotel lined up.  

Pyro and I might see Transformers later. Neither of us really wants to see it, but it's Transformers...

Anything else? No. Just dealing with the normal things.

-Cleric 

Ok, since everyone I know has said Transformers was a great movie(notice I didn't say "film" like I normally do) so I don't have anything to say except that Megan Fox is hot like fire. She did spend most of that movie slightly dirty and a little sweaty. This is a good thing.

Saint and I roll out for Whistler in the morning. Unless something comes up on her end. I should phone and confirm.

I still need to pick up nail clippers, sunscreen and a tin of mints before I leave tomorrow. I'm packing light this year.

The CoH Server Freedom must be filled with under 12 WoWers on WoW downtime. No one can spell, no one has a back story(Staci and I think this is a crime in CoH) and if I hear "Sup?" one more god damned time I'm going to go what else, but ape-shit crazy.

Everyday I log on Virtue I say a quiet pray to the CoH Gods that a lvl 1 Archery/Ice blaster randomly picked such a sweet little server. Gotta love those RPers.

I still being a BS/Regen scrapper. Freedom Fran can take anything orange and below in groups of >3. She can mop up equal lvl mobs regardless of size.  Red Bosses one on one, which is rough.

A soundtrack cannot be predetermined for a trip, but you can bring certain albums with you to make a kickass one. Besides the normal Feist, Weepies and Elvis Costello, the Ipod has been stacked with new Metric, "Peter Bjorn and John" as well as Lily Allen. Lily Allen will probably become the entire summer's soundtrack but that has yet to be seen.  

 With camera in tow, Saint and I are probably going to be generating a lot of random Facebook content.

Anything else?  

 Nope.

-Cleric  

Title as we go...and we're going to go. Big Time.

Saint and I had a ball in Whistler. Random movies on TV, late night village strolls and the Irish Pub. I was so drunk that final night I bought a toque. Who in their right mind buys a toque in July? Apparently I do.

I probably should have asked that girl working in the Bear Pause store out to the pub. I probably should have worn shorts while Zip Trekking. I probably should have figured out that quicker route to the Village on the first day instead of the third.  Those are my only regrets of the trip. The panda keychain I now have on my bag will be known as the "Regret Panda."

Even the Regret Panda is a bastard. 

I don't know why I mention facebook content here. It's hard to get from here to facebook directly.

I worked yesterday night. Slow Five hour shifts are the worst, but I dealt with it. I'm also dealing with Staci officially being commissioned sometime while I was gone.  I was informed by the Island Plexi as I retouched the "K" in her lastname with a blue dryerase pen.

I waited until I got home and text her a congrats. I'm fairly comfortable with it right now. This comfort level will grow as time goes on. Despite what I just said, I'm still happy for her. What else can I be?

Next summer I want to work out in Whistler. Being a Zip Trek guide in the day and a Firm Operative by night sounds like a comfortable lifestyle while living at the staff housing. We'll see how that pans out over the year.  

I work in a couple hours. I'm picking up as many shifts as I can so I can actually pay for my vacation with the credit card bill comes.

Done and Done.

-Cleric 

Now, I'm much happier than I was at roughly the same time last night.

Oh. Mum and I saw Order of the Phoenix Monday night…Nymphadora Tonks wasn’t really described as “hot” in the book…but in the movie…awesome. With the changing hair and the longcoat. I thought I was going to cry.

Yes, I worked another PuS(...Pick Up Shift...like a CoH Pick Up Group or PuG) I have to pay for my vacation somehow. Luckily for me it was the traditional Tuesday close Mark and I haven't had in months. Unluckily for me, he sent Staci home an hour early and we were busier than shit (for Tuesday anyway.) The first "not good" day of the summer season and everyone wants two shitty movies: Hills Have Eyes Two and Premonition. I'll never see Hill Have Eyes 2 since I hate horror movies (and bad sequels.) I'm also not the biggest fan of Sandra Bullock.

However, Mark and I persevered thanks to his copy of the second season of JLU and all the Huntress/Question episodes I could cram in to my 5 hour shift.

That's alot by the way.

We also got together with Brett and Staci afterwards for our traditional pasta Tuesday. Saint randomly showed up with her BF, but didn't sit with us...probably fearing Britany and possibly Mark. That and her BF had his cousin there...

Everyone at the table think-tanked Mark's new CoX Graphic Novel idea. In a think-tank, my nitpicking is embraced and not discouraged. Needless to say, like most of Mark's writing idea it is epic...and full of twists.

Don't ask me how we got on it, but Staci recounted a dream where she was "involved" with three of her favourite actors. Mostly Dr. Who/Torchwood people. I said I wished I had a similar dream...but I didn't want to be groped by Dr. Who...I said Amy Acker, Nicole deBoer and...Staci suggested Natalie Portman, but I informed her it wasn't a sexual thing with Portman. The third slot was taken by Kate Beckinsale and that bit was over...but not before I figured out I want to be Natalie Portman's study buddy. I want to hang out with her in nice libraries and bounce Psychological/Criminological theory off her. I want to help her write papers and flip through the DSM-IV-TR… We'd travel together on the skytrain and listen to The Shins (Pause for Garden State joke) then have dinner at some quirky restaurant she knew. No sex. I can see cuddling and making out (come on, it's still Natalie Portman) but no sex.

Somehow that ended in the idea from Staci that I should make a facebook group entitled "I Want to be Natalie Portman's Study Buddy, but not in a dirty way."

Needless to say, I filled my Staci Quota for the day. She seemed like cat while we were at Brett's....I don't really know how to describe that. I'm not eloquent enough. 

I'm going to get a story together. 3 cops (2 Sarges w/ a regular detective) and a paramedic. The Regular detective is attracted to the female Sarge but because they're in a direct chain of command, he can't do anything. However the friendly paramedic they all hang out with starts to date the female Sarge. I'll work it out and pray it doesn't happen. I have a feeling I want to do that awesome sniper rifle cellphone scene I wrote for a bodyguard thing years ago…something like “Yeah…I know, wait…where are you?” “Oh nowhere…” Cuts to the detective on the roof with a rifle…He’s not going to shoot anybody, he just likes the view.

BS/Regen scrappers rules. Bring on the Rikti War Zone in I10.

Anything else? Nope.

I'm comfortable again.

-Cleric

Title as we go...

Another shitty round of Kwantlen Registration. I'm no longer as ready for it as I once was. I remember it used to take me a week to plan and 5 minutes to actually register. Average times these days are 5 hours for the entire process including payment...which is wrong.

I've lost my will regarding school. That's a terrible thing. I used to be such a smart person.

I should stop watching Scrubs. I'm JD ... pining for a co-worker I can't have for various reasons. Of course, JD and Elliot did date for a while. I haven't even gotten that far yet*. (Sigh)

I should really see psycho-pharmalogical help. It's not healthy to feel this bad every second day. Of course it's not officially depression because it does happen every second day and not constantly. I'm functioning to the point where I can still go to work. I'll get back to you about how functional I am at school. I just don't give a fuck at this point. This is upsetting my mum. I'll work it out...or die trying.

*Oddly narcissistic of me to say "yet." I've said this before; I'm still at least three steps from attempting to try anything with Staci (for a total of five steps.) I still need to find more short haired girls to obsess over...like ones I don't work with ...or who have..."issues."

Things that are keeping me going:

1. A Huntress movie staring Amy Acker with a Christian Bale Batman Cameo. Director? Either Chris Nolan or Dave Fincher.

Anything else? Nope.

Terrible.

-Cleric

Title as we go. Something along the lines of "It's just a carnival pony/can't even leave the ground." It's from The Weepies song "Old Coyote" and I'm just beginning to understand what it means.

For the record: Staci is asleep upstairs.

I just wanted to type it once to please my narcissistic side.

She opens in about 6 hours and didn't want to have a long uncomfortable busride/walk home.  

Sunday night she messaged me with the idea to hang out today and we've hung out since four. It's mostly been coffee, a pan of "stale" brownies (no such thing) and as much Marvel Ultimate Alliance my 360 can take. We both love DeadPool and plan to make a guy/girl Katana/Regen scrapper duo. Traditionally, she’s the male character while I’m the female. (sigh)

I'm surprised she didn't call Mark or Brett in. Brett even has my GHII Guitar with him!

We also watched "The 4400" pilot as she is eager to get me into the series. "The 4400" just proves that there are a finite number of actors in Vancouver and if four shows are running you're going to be in at least two of them. Dead Like Me, The Stargates and DaVinci's Inquest. Some sets appear in ALL of them. Staci says the only actress they haven't used is her, but she could get into anyone of the shows in a heartbeat.

I can't overthink any of this. Staci is far too unpredictable/unreadable for that type of overthought....Overthought? That's not even a word!  

I haven't really talked to Saint since we got back from Whistler. Most of my social time has been with the Firm Crew breaking in that new Irish Pub down the way. I mentioned the Irish Pub in Whistler to a hostess while I was paying once and she told she'd been there. She also agreed it was a nice pub. We're all trying to become regulars. I even know one of the kitchen staff because he rents so often. He was a little shocked when he got off his shift and walked out into the pub to see the entire Firm staff sitting at one table. I'd love to get Saint out to the pub, but we're still trying to settle the thing with Britany.

Oh, I don't know if I ever wrote it down but I did indeed see Elizabeth at the Deathly Hollow release party. That's not predicting the future, that's reading fact.  It wasn't awkward in any traditional sense (at least to Elizabeth and I. Everyone else seemed uncomfortable with it.) but it felt like we were dating again. This just proves how distant we were at times.

Oh, by the way...I'm on roughly page 245 of The Deathly Hollows. Mum is at 143...Laura is somewhere in the two eighties. I haven't had the time to ask anybody else.  

I know it was a throwaway comment during The 4400, but Staci said she was happy alone. I should ask her to show me how...Also, she want to get a scooter. I just think that's cute.

Anything else?

I think CoH is updating to I10.

-Cleric  

Just to get it out of the way, Matt D and other assorted The Firm Members celebrated Helen Mirren's Birthday at the pub tonight. I'll mention it simply because it segways nicely into what I'll be talking about.

I've hung out with Staci literally "all week." Monday was The 4400/Brownie Sleepover. Tuesday small of group of us played Marvel Ultimate Alliance at her house. Wednesday we had coffee, decided not to go to the fireworks* and instead go home and enjoy I10 on CoH. Yes, that counts as hanging out. Thursday it was the pub, however as the night drew to a close she seemed ever more distant than usual, which for all intents and purposes...is very distant. 

While I was lying on the long booth in the pub after my third Guinness I talked to Britany(only person there while the rest were smoking/bathroom) and I said that I needed to get over Staci to save my soul. I also said that I believed Dani was..."The One." Britany's sage advice was to contact Dani through whatever means were available to me. Of course, any piece of advice or realization I come to while drunk must be considered for a day, the idea of contacting Dani with the promise of a 3 season House marathon(I'll get two/three for my birthday) and coffee seemed like a good one. At this point, I'll take a "no" just so I can stop pining over TWO girls. I also have to finish the Deathly Hallows to have any sort of conversation with a person who has finished the novel. I'm only just over 300. I've been fighting aliens!

Psychological speaking, I have "get over" Staci to be fair to any girl I get into a relationship with. I can't been in two places at once mentally. I’ve always had fun with the girl, but waiting for “something” is just idiotic.

There it is. A decision has been made. I'm just tired of being interested in girls I can't date because they outrank me and are very distant. I have to work on being less stupid. Staci can be alone for all I care. It's no longer my problem. I'm starting to see it has nothing to do with me.

my 900+ dollar credit bill came today.

 I'm going to go bust hoards of aliens as a 15 year old arrow shooting girl.

-Cleric